Piracy concerns for gaming… In other news- kill all cheap people with fire.

Piracy.

No, I’m not talking “Yo Ho Ho” or Somalian’s with only one leg.

R4 card. Ring any bells?

Sure, it’s easy enough to just accuse anyone of downloading the odd game here and there- but the point stands that piracy IS theft. And is actually really hurting the gaming community. Sony calls levels of piracy “sickening”, believing the theft to be taking a particular chunk of the PSP market, and accounting for poor game release as more and more developers turn their sites to consoles that are safer in regards to piracy.

The truth is, there is no safety where piracy is concerned. It’s safe to assume that most of the world is pretty scummy, and scummy people are too cheap to pay for a good gaming experience, but not too cheap to pay for good sex. The logic there should be baffling, but sadly isn’t so. Most gamers are far too consumed in their gaming to attract the opposite sex. You’ve got to get it somewhere.

PC gaming is where it’s hurting most right now, with Doom 3 creators iD software warning that if the problem of pirated PC games wasn’t stopped soon, the platform could be abandoned entirely.

“Some developers are taking that approach” he told the Game Developers Conference. And you know what? He’s spot on. Working in a video game store, I’m seeing less and less releases for PC. GAME is even thinking of slowly liquidising its stock out, like a gazpacho of the high street. So very tomatoey.

It’s estimated that losses from piracy in Eastern Europe, Asia and South America are around 90%- now that’s pretty darn high!

You might think that piracy doesn’t apply to you. I ask you one question. When the hell did you get made a citizen without authority? This isn’t bloody Mad Max. It’s real life, with real laws. So man up you pansy eating testicle swilling nerd. Buy a game. Ask for student discount if that applies. And buy a Nintendo DSi so I can see you cry when your R4 card chokes on dicks.

On a serious note, piracy is real. It isn’t just chavs, it’s you at home on MiniNova.

For the love of God, if you can’t afford games, you should probably just a read a book. If reading a book doesn’t make you particularly moist then I mourn the loss of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Go load a pistola.